Fantasy Dork Central

Week 10 Review; short and sweet bitches


Bird sex will never die, will it?


Another week gone by in the NFL. The fantasy playoffs begin in the next month and you best be gettin yo shit together. You never know how it's all gonna go down, but you can prepare for the run by making some moves to solidify your team. First and foremost make the playoffs. In my league a few players made major moves that cost them a week or even more of contention. They thought that they could afford to do so since they were getting good players in doing so, no dice. Never throw the towel in on a week. Even if it doesen't seem like your week, play your best players and look for any adds you can make to make your squad better that week. Waiver moves can be as important as blockbuster deals. In any case, mad shit happened this week in football. I'll go over some of the major stories that arose.

• The Eagles season is over after last nights horrible finish. They were supposed to be the hungry team, and made no effort to seal their lead with clock management. Andy Reid truly believes he has figured out football, that he can use this new style of pass dominated offense and let talent walk on all sides of the ball and still be a success. Sorry you fat red mormon, you can not plug in any player and win. Corey Simon and Ike Reese would help right now wouldn't they? McNabb should get surgery and the team should prepare for the draft, they will get a top ten pick, with out trading up. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
• In brighter news, Samkon Gado is a stud. He put up respectable numbers on the Steelers and then killed the Falcons. He was named the starting back today by Sherman. I picked him up in my league and he won me my game. He is a good #2 going forward. Awesome little Nigerian dude, gotta love Gado. He might even be their future back if he keeps it up, Green is a free agent and is gone for sure.
  
• Eli struggled like a mu'fucka this week. 4 picks against the Vikings? thats absurd. He is still so young, you forget that after his play so far. He'll rebound, the Giants are a playoff team.
  
• Peyton on the other hand is back as one of if not the best QB in fantasy again. I know Palmer is a stud and all, but he plays a tougher schedule and is not as proven and Manning. Funny how he went from a major dissapointment to a top 3 QB in fantasy again. Now that McNabb looks so bad it seems its really on Palmer and Peyton at the top.
  
• The Carolina Panthers are looking very good, with Davis hitting paydirt every week and the defense ass gaping these clowns every week, they seem like a legit super bowl threat to me.
  
• Alert; a white running back was spotted in Miami, his name his Heath Evans, add him, he's actually a good player if Dillon is out more, plus he's a crazy white boy, you gotta watch out for those.
  
  "I know, I know, his name is Dick, thats crazy."
  
  
  
  
• Roy Williams went crazy this week. Even crazier is that Garcia will now start, good move dicks. Between two retards I'll take the one who threw 3TDs.
  
• Chris Simms put up three TDs on a tough Redskins defense. This was a great game, a surprise shoot out.
  
• Larry Fittz is a sure pro bowler for many years to come. He produces no matter who else is next to him at wr. He's gonna be coveted in next years drafts. He somehow chose Pitt, which I'm proud of.
  
• Lee Evans showed signs of life this week with Losman coming in and performing well. Add him if he's available.
• Shaun Alexander is a monster, a real deal hollyfield killer, he may top 30 with his schedule. But be aware he may not be in the mix if they solidify homefield really early.
  

Finally, Mike Tice is awesome. It's ashame he wont be around next year to make fun of. He got a 15 yard misconduct penalty for running on the field in a game he was actually winning. He also claims to have torn three major ligaments in his knee after being flipped over in a collision where he was once again too close to the action. This capicol eating gorilla is a treasure to this league. No one will ever be such a high percentage of ape and lead a 700 million dollar business again (besides our president). He's gonna take that huge, unused pencil and sell it on ebay, just like he sold those super bowl tix.


"We're outta prosciutto Ralphie!"




This is the best injury pic I've found yet, it's all real




I'll put up a full preview tomorrow, and will put up sleepers/busts as well. Peace fantasy goons