Fantasy Dork Central

Week 12 Review;

Ha bitch, I saw yo titty (she got too big too fast, no early career nudity has me salty)




It's been a season of injury. Leftwich goes down for atleast a month with a broken ankle, Jaimie Martin gets knocked the fuck out and the 3rd string rook Fitzpatrick (from Harvard) goes for 300 and 3 TDs against the depressing Texans (they can fuck any lead up). Bubba Franks, despite having minimal fantasy value, took a husker to the neck from B.Dawk. The injuries just don't stop coming. What you can do is keep your eyes on the injury updates and waiver wire as the season winds down. There are many players who will be sitting in the final weeks because of playoff seeding. Watch for those teams that establish their seeding and will likely sit their stars for the playoff run. If you have a star, protect that investment with his backup; Rhodes for Edge, Morris for Shaun are main examples. You will have enjoyed that teams running success all year and watch some asshole in your league play their backups. In any case, here is a quick run down of the week that was, tomorrow expect a full week 13 preview as the fantasy playoff seeding is crucial for most of you, except those sad fucks who can't field a competent team.

• LT and Lamont are the best fantasy rbs this year. Shaun is incredible but lacks the receptions that can save him in a game where his TDs dont flow. Don't get me wrong, Shaun is a real MVP candidate and a true fantasy superstar, but even with 20 TDs, Lamont is neck and neck with him in most fantasty formats. How? he has nearly 60 receptions and is in on all 3 downs. LT is just a maniac.
  
• Joey J does it again, he is making himself lots of dough right now, he is a major TD threat and will continue to be one when D. Jax gets back. He's not an every week starter depending on your roster, but he is certainly a breakout threat way better than traditional #3 fantasy wideouts, such as his teamate Engram.
  
• Carson is an animal, he is the clear QB mvp, given his draft position in fantasy and his ultimate consistancy, he's the best of the year.
  
• Andre Johnson and the Texans finally looked good, all it takes is the gaping ass of the Rams defense to make you look good, some how Mike Martz and his bloody shit stained heart are responsible for this.
  
• Shock nuts is a true top threat at TE, besides Gates, he is the best. I mean, Gonzo is dog shit, he has what? one TD to Shockey's 7, thats nuts.
  
• Crumpler is also emerging, thanks to the unheralded play of Vick, he is actually playing QB from the pocket on most downs.
  
• Don't believe the hype about Marcus Robinson, he's a prolific clown shoe and should be cumming on a boey in no time with his teamates.
  
• Gado, the incredible African wonder, returns to relevance after completely dick dogging Dawkins and Trotter on a 33 yard TD run, he's not a great fantasy player, but is worth a look in a few weeks versus the Lions.
  
• With out any notice, Brooks has 6 Tds over the last two weeks, don't trust him, he stink fingers little thai boys and wears a sidekick in the huddle.
  
• Jamal Lewis impressed the D block and had a solid outing, he's a good play in some games coming up, notably against the Texans this week.
  
• If your struggling for reciever depth Battle had a good week, and the SFran passing game isnt complete cat shit since Dorsey is in, but watch for Smith over the final weeks, that could end all value the team may have.
  
• Chris Brown is emerging as a very solid #2, he's actually a top 10 fantasy RB, so keep him in your lineup, but protect him with Travis Henry, who ran for 80+ yards on 13 carries spelling an injured Brown this week.
  

First off, homeboys not even that diesel, second, I hope he's a righty, cause jerking off would be a lifetime issue



Side Notes:




Throughout years of watching NBA basketball I've always maintained an all ugly team, sometimes you even had some bench spots. Tyrone "Skeletor" Hill being a prime example, Popeye Jones and the vastly under rated troll that was Pig Miller. The List can go on; Tim Thomas is no looker, Sam Cassell is the leader of an alien tribe, Calvin Booth looks like he got hit by 9 shovels. But who can we name to this list in the NFL? With helmets its tough, you never see most players. But you have to scower, and find the ugliest fucks in the league and give them their due. On friday I'll post a full position by position all ugly team, and I'd like any and all comments to put this list together.





In closing, Keep your eyes on the prize hoes, its money time. Keep in mind players matchups and pick up some insurance for your studs if you haven't already, they could be sat for several reasons as the season ends, pay particular attention to the playoff teams, they have no interest in keeping your super gay fantasy team in contention. That being said, good luck nerds, most of you need it.