Fantasy Dork Central

Absolute Disgust; A meaningless season NBA game

C-Webb has defined failure, while Allen is clearly stoned on the sideline




I attended the first half of the Sixers/Nets “game” on Tuesday night, it was a fucking joke. Both teams fielded their scrub squads in a summer camp like atmosphere. No one gave a shit, boos rained down after the first quarter. I asked myself as I watched the game, how many years is it gonna take to get a team in here. To charge full admission for that game was insulting. Everyone who attended should have received a signed Iverson 40 and a Chris Webber commemorative condom (also known as a hefty bag soaked in canola oil), since those two assholes decided to skip the game. In reality they each showed up 45 minutes late knowing they were not going to play, having been shut down once the playoffs were out of the picture. They each made around 200K for the game, minus fines. The faint smell of kraft bbq sauce, sour apple now n laters and north philly hydro rolled in pineapple phillies was reported outside their luxury sweet.

Korver at the team afterparty


Their decision to show up late is a sign that both could give a shit that most of the fans in the arena came to see them (really just AI). I attended the game because I truly feel it was the last home game in which Iverson would be a Sixer. It’s fitting that he would be late to his swan song. He preaches leadership and work ethic now that he is an elder statesman, but he does not in fact lead. He never has. I love his talent, and am amazed at the genius that is Allen Iverson with a basketball. But when has he ever truly guided a young player’s growth? When has he altered his game to allow a player to fit in? Iggy is absolutely stunted by the best players on the team. He has the lowest shot per game average in the league for any starter (35min+). It is absolutely time to blow this fucking mess up. Billy King is an absolute clown shoe. The Webber deal was his make or break deal. And that shit broke, so it’s time to take those gay glasses and the horrible annual “we’ll address our needs in the off-season” bullshit and leave. He said that the Sixers have a list of 40 some players they are targeting this summer to improve their effort level and defensive intensity. Knowing full well the only real option to become a real franchise again is to trade Iverson. I know it’s depressing, but its reality. His value is still at least high enough to get some talent in return. A Rashard Lewis or Jason Rich would be fine with me. We need to get younger hungrier. I’ll take two down years if they are at developing talent. In terms of potential and the team outlook we have fallen behind the likes of the Bulls, Wizards, Magic and even the Raptors (Colangelo/Bosh) and Bobcats (Wallace/Felton/Okafor). The players on the current roster as it is now are more concerned with who gets to stink gap the dance team at the after party than how to contend in the division (“I get to spleen stab Stacey”). Look at our makeup; Webber is absolutely untradeable, Dalembert(who has regressed, which is the hallmark sign of a player who for the most part gets paid on potential) will get you nothing in return, only Iverson could get you some legitimate talent in return. It is the time to rebuild, and I do not trust King in this task.

A glorious day in Sixers history; his reign seems over



AI and CWebb proved that they will never win together. They both logged 70+ games and couldn’t even beat out the Bulls or Magic. Their failure to attend the game is endemic of the Sixers whole season; a complete lack of effort. Billy King is the real culprit, but you still have to hold the players, especially your highest paid and most talented players accountable for their actions. Both proved they exhibit no leadership. I love the effort and brilliance that Iverson has given us for 10 years. He has grown into a first ballot hall of famer in front of us. From a perceived thug who would “ruin the game” to a revered warrior and rebel. He will always be a Sixer in some sense, much like Barkley. Only I hope we can get more than Tim Perry, Andrew Lang and Hornacek. We will see how it all plays out this summer. I just had to write about this, this was the most absolute JV effort I’ve ever seen at a pro game. I mean even Hip Hop mailed it in, that fucking gay shit rabbit. For those opposed to trading AI, I understand, but ask yourself if it’s worth costing us potentially years of growth to keep him for the next 2 seasons. Here’s to football y’all, a game that lives on effort and passion.

Gone fishin; TO and AI, its a shame, but this city will have lost two of the greatest talents in their respective sports