Fantasy Basketball wrap; this weekend I’ll start an NFL draft article and rank the top NFL players by position for fantasy football.
Chuck Norris facts of the day;
• Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
• Chuck Norris once ate three 72-ounce steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes and sidewalks.
-Chuck Norris doesen't believe in Germany. (for Rino)
Sam Cassell enjoying the new NBA dress code
Top 7 Shooting Guards; the wide receiver of the NBA, the SG is obviously a huge source of points and steals for your fantasy team, but some of the top talents offer assists, rebounds and even blocks. Fantasy sports value and real league value do not correlate. How can Gerald Wallace place over Wade? it's all about across the board contributions in fantasy, and no player in the league matches Gerald's variety of stats. Here are the top 7 off guards in fantasy this season;
1. Kobe; A top five fantasy player with a top three legal team on retainer, Bryant is possibly the best player in the league. Name someone else you’d rather have with the game on the line (besides Melo, check this link out). Name someone in the league who could drop 81, or 63 in 2 ½ quarters. Iverson, Wade, Lebron, no one else has his array of scoring moves. Lebron may put up the complete stats, but Kobe is a proven assassin, and the world’s greatest scorer. Just look at this kid’s numbers; 34.8ppg (silly average, best since late 80’s MJ), 5rpg, 5apg, 2.2 3pfg, 1.8spg on 45%fg and 84%ft. As great as Kobe’s season has been, he can’t be revered as the MVP or a hero for leading his team to the playoffs. He helped create that roster. His ego drove him to prove to the league that he can do it himself, and now we’ll see if he can. Side note; Kobe isn’t the only Bryant whose faced legal troubles, his father Joe “Jelly Bean” was caught buying coke in the spectrum (Philly) parking lot in ’78. Joe now coaches the WNBA’s LA Sparks after Henry Bibby (mike’s pop) was fired. I honestly don’t believe Kobe raped that girl, I just think she thought she’d get out of that room with an asshole smaller than a doorknob. Chris Rock said that the before the jury saw Kobe in court for the first time they thought he was this nice little guy they saw on tv, yeah he looked small next to Shaq, once they saw him sitting in that booth with his hands swallowing the Bible they would convict that black prey manits on the spot.
2. Ray Allen; aka Jesus Shuttlesworth is often slept on in both real and fantasy ball. Maybe it’s is quiet demeanor, or the fact that the two markets he’s played for are NBA outposts; Milwaukee and Seattle. His game is quiet too; he’ll drop 20 in a half before you realize it. His shot is the purest and his release the fastest. His 3.3 3pfg per lead the league by a whopping .8 per game. His scoring efficiency is elite with 45% fg and 90%ft at 25ppg. Ray often slips into the second round even though he ends up a top ten fantasy producer every season. Side note; Iverson was originally selected to be the lead in He Got Game, but couldn’t commit his first NBA summer to a film, instead opting to eat popcorn shrimp and smoke swishers filled with sweet sticky icky. Allen also boasts one the worst receding hairline/fades in the league when he grows his hair out.
3. Gerald Wallace; This seems high considering Wade, Pierce, Richardson all remain unlisted, but his averages rank him #9 overall in espn and yahoo rankings. While the hype machine has promoted Andre Igoudala as the next Scotty Pippen, Wallace is in fact the true heir to the Pippen comparisons. His growth over the past two seasons is astounding. Sacramento drafted and developed Gerald only to leave him unprotected in the expansion draft, one of the few mistakes I’ve ever seen Petrie (born in Darby, PA) commit. His combined defensive numbers are even better than anything Scotty ever produced; 2.5 steals and 2.1 blocks, plus this kid shoots 55% from the field. If he adds a 3 and improves his ft% to the 70’s then he is a high first round fantasy player. Side note; The sixers were reported to have had interest in drafting Wallace with the 26th pick in the 2001 draft, Wallace was taken with the 25th pick, the sixers subsequently drafted Sammy Dalembert, a man who escaped aids and the French language to become a lazy overpaid shot blocker. Also, Gilbert Arenas was drafted at 31 overall just to add to the sting.
Gerald collects from his sacramento hoes via paypal
4. Dwyane Wade; much like the Nash ranking, this is a case where reality and fantasy basketball do not agree. Wade is an elite talent, there are few players that are at his level of skill and athleticism. The only thing keeping Wade from being number 1 is 3pfg. He only makes .2 per and shoots 17% from behind the arc. His 28ppg 6rpg 7apg 2spg and .8bpg are sick, add a three Dwayne, please, and then you’ll be a true fantasy stud. Side note; I know that in any draft year hindsight is 20/20, but the Pistons had the ability to draft either Wade, Bosh or Melo, and they came away with a project in Darko. Now they have little to show for that #2 pick, while the 3 players who followed that pick are all superstars for years to come. Imagine Melo or Wade on that Detroit team with Prince coming off the bench, which would be disgusting.
5. Paul Pierce; The Truth has had a career year that has gone largely unnoticed. He has tied or set career highs in nearly every category; 27ppg, 6.7rpg 5apg on 47% shooting. It seems that Paul has finally found his game and his supporting cast is growing around him. Paul is a high second round pick in fantasy at this point, with the ability to become a top 10 value. Side note; Danny Ainge is secretly an excellent GM. He has built a great young core of talent through the draft; Delonte, G.Green; who will be a star in the years to come, Gomes; a beast of a player who dominated the big east, Perkins, Harrington and even O.Greene and Tony Allen. Pierce isn’t alone anymore. The major reason for their shit record is Doc Rivers and his absolute lack of coaching skills, ironically, much like Jim O’Brien, Rivers confuses and stalls his player's growth with his lack of commitment to a steady rotation. If this Celtics team gets a good coach this summer they can grow into a contender. There has been trade talk surrounding Pierce since Ainge took over, reportedly a deal was in place this past summer to send the Truth to the Blazers for the #3 pick and Van Exel (to make the money work), only Ainge pulled out at the last second (unlike Shawn Kemp). Side/side note; Three years ago Pierce was stabbed multiple times in the face and chest by a member of absurdly gay boston rap group made men, at a sixers/Celtics game shortly after the attack I heckled Paul telling him his defense was worse than his body guards, mean, but true.
6. J.Richardson; Rich is another example of a player who is held down by an inadequacy in a single category; his ft% is a 66.9%, that’s unacceptable for a shooting guard who can hit 2.5 3pfg per and 24ppg 6rpg on 45% shooting. Side note; Can you imagine if the Warriors would have matched the 5 year 60 mil offer sheet for Arenas a few years back. First off that’s a bargain for such a talent, second it would form a top backcourt for years to come. But now the Warriors have to settle for a gimpy Baron Davis and a wise veteran in Fish to compliment Richardson’s growth into an elite shooting guard.
7. Vince Carter; I was debating whether to rank Redd or Carter in this final spot, they both have similar scoring totals, but I chose Vince because he contributes in more categories. His 24ppg 6rpg 4.2apg and impressive .7bpg make him a solid 2nd round draft pick in fantasy. Side note; I’ve honestly never been a big fan of Vince ever since he went to his graduation on the day of the game 7 against the Sixers in 2001. He missed the game winning shot that night. That series marked the high point in the development of the Raptors. Had Vince not tried to be such a golden boy that day perhaps he could have hit that shot, and thank god he didn’t since I’m a Philly fan. Still it begs the question of why he chose to attend that arbitrary event. Good for him that he completed his degree in dynamics of basketball or even worse communications, but was it necessary to potentially harm his team’s chances to make the finals? Since that shot the franchise and Vince have lost their mass appeal, and you can only blame Vince and that sad fuck Canadian dollar.
Had Vince not flown to graduation before game 7, his career could be totally different.
Honorable Mention @ SG;
• Michael Redd; he is a top shooting talent but has yet to showcase a full floor game. His 2.9 apg are significantly lower than the true top tier off guards. Still @ 25 ppg and 2 3pfg per Redd is a highly productive scorer. Ever since he had that crazy 25 point quarter three years ago I’ve liked his game. As that roster matures Redd will get more national attention. Side note; Redd fell to the 14th pick of the Second round in 2000.
• Tracy McGrady; Wow, it’s crazy that a top 5 fantasy pick like T.Mac ends up at the end of the top ten at his position. His balky back left him playing only 47 games. This is more of an injury designation than anything else, although that 40% shooting is scary. He’ll drop in fantasy drafts next year, and it’s certainly worth taking a risk on him. On a side note I once heckled Toni Kukoc saying that his defense is lazier than McGrady’s eye.
• Joe Johnson is not a pg, no matter what a stripper tells you, Joe Johnson is a shooting guard. Atlanta gave up Diaw and their 2007 1st round pick (their 06 pick is lottery protected and top 3 protected in 07) for JJ, a price too high for nearly any player. Despite Billy Knight’s complete disregard for competence Johnson’s numbers are impressive; 20ppg, 7apg and 1.6 3pfg on 46% shooting. Look for Joe to be a high 3rd round pick. Side note; Johnson was traded for Rodney Rogers in 2002 from the Celtics during his rookie year, a mistake the Celtics still lament.
• Morris Peterson/Raja Bell; these two are grouped together because their fantasy value come from their 3 pfg production; both average over 2 per and average around 15 per, they are late round/undrafted talents that will now place in the 7-8th rounds in fantasy drafts. Side note; As a sixer during the epic 2001 season Raja reportedly used to tape home made shanks under his chair, he would threaten opponents and their Achilles whenever he had the opportunity.
Chuck Norris facts of the day;
• Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
• Chuck Norris once ate three 72-ounce steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes and sidewalks.
-Chuck Norris doesen't believe in Germany. (for Rino)
Sam Cassell enjoying the new NBA dress code
Top 7 Shooting Guards; the wide receiver of the NBA, the SG is obviously a huge source of points and steals for your fantasy team, but some of the top talents offer assists, rebounds and even blocks. Fantasy sports value and real league value do not correlate. How can Gerald Wallace place over Wade? it's all about across the board contributions in fantasy, and no player in the league matches Gerald's variety of stats. Here are the top 7 off guards in fantasy this season;
1. Kobe; A top five fantasy player with a top three legal team on retainer, Bryant is possibly the best player in the league. Name someone else you’d rather have with the game on the line (besides Melo, check this link out). Name someone in the league who could drop 81, or 63 in 2 ½ quarters. Iverson, Wade, Lebron, no one else has his array of scoring moves. Lebron may put up the complete stats, but Kobe is a proven assassin, and the world’s greatest scorer. Just look at this kid’s numbers; 34.8ppg (silly average, best since late 80’s MJ), 5rpg, 5apg, 2.2 3pfg, 1.8spg on 45%fg and 84%ft. As great as Kobe’s season has been, he can’t be revered as the MVP or a hero for leading his team to the playoffs. He helped create that roster. His ego drove him to prove to the league that he can do it himself, and now we’ll see if he can. Side note; Kobe isn’t the only Bryant whose faced legal troubles, his father Joe “Jelly Bean” was caught buying coke in the spectrum (Philly) parking lot in ’78. Joe now coaches the WNBA’s LA Sparks after Henry Bibby (mike’s pop) was fired. I honestly don’t believe Kobe raped that girl, I just think she thought she’d get out of that room with an asshole smaller than a doorknob. Chris Rock said that the before the jury saw Kobe in court for the first time they thought he was this nice little guy they saw on tv, yeah he looked small next to Shaq, once they saw him sitting in that booth with his hands swallowing the Bible they would convict that black prey manits on the spot.
2. Ray Allen; aka Jesus Shuttlesworth is often slept on in both real and fantasy ball. Maybe it’s is quiet demeanor, or the fact that the two markets he’s played for are NBA outposts; Milwaukee and Seattle. His game is quiet too; he’ll drop 20 in a half before you realize it. His shot is the purest and his release the fastest. His 3.3 3pfg per lead the league by a whopping .8 per game. His scoring efficiency is elite with 45% fg and 90%ft at 25ppg. Ray often slips into the second round even though he ends up a top ten fantasy producer every season. Side note; Iverson was originally selected to be the lead in He Got Game, but couldn’t commit his first NBA summer to a film, instead opting to eat popcorn shrimp and smoke swishers filled with sweet sticky icky. Allen also boasts one the worst receding hairline/fades in the league when he grows his hair out.
3. Gerald Wallace; This seems high considering Wade, Pierce, Richardson all remain unlisted, but his averages rank him #9 overall in espn and yahoo rankings. While the hype machine has promoted Andre Igoudala as the next Scotty Pippen, Wallace is in fact the true heir to the Pippen comparisons. His growth over the past two seasons is astounding. Sacramento drafted and developed Gerald only to leave him unprotected in the expansion draft, one of the few mistakes I’ve ever seen Petrie (born in Darby, PA) commit. His combined defensive numbers are even better than anything Scotty ever produced; 2.5 steals and 2.1 blocks, plus this kid shoots 55% from the field. If he adds a 3 and improves his ft% to the 70’s then he is a high first round fantasy player. Side note; The sixers were reported to have had interest in drafting Wallace with the 26th pick in the 2001 draft, Wallace was taken with the 25th pick, the sixers subsequently drafted Sammy Dalembert, a man who escaped aids and the French language to become a lazy overpaid shot blocker. Also, Gilbert Arenas was drafted at 31 overall just to add to the sting.
Gerald collects from his sacramento hoes via paypal
4. Dwyane Wade; much like the Nash ranking, this is a case where reality and fantasy basketball do not agree. Wade is an elite talent, there are few players that are at his level of skill and athleticism. The only thing keeping Wade from being number 1 is 3pfg. He only makes .2 per and shoots 17% from behind the arc. His 28ppg 6rpg 7apg 2spg and .8bpg are sick, add a three Dwayne, please, and then you’ll be a true fantasy stud. Side note; I know that in any draft year hindsight is 20/20, but the Pistons had the ability to draft either Wade, Bosh or Melo, and they came away with a project in Darko. Now they have little to show for that #2 pick, while the 3 players who followed that pick are all superstars for years to come. Imagine Melo or Wade on that Detroit team with Prince coming off the bench, which would be disgusting.
5. Paul Pierce; The Truth has had a career year that has gone largely unnoticed. He has tied or set career highs in nearly every category; 27ppg, 6.7rpg 5apg on 47% shooting. It seems that Paul has finally found his game and his supporting cast is growing around him. Paul is a high second round pick in fantasy at this point, with the ability to become a top 10 value. Side note; Danny Ainge is secretly an excellent GM. He has built a great young core of talent through the draft; Delonte, G.Green; who will be a star in the years to come, Gomes; a beast of a player who dominated the big east, Perkins, Harrington and even O.Greene and Tony Allen. Pierce isn’t alone anymore. The major reason for their shit record is Doc Rivers and his absolute lack of coaching skills, ironically, much like Jim O’Brien, Rivers confuses and stalls his player's growth with his lack of commitment to a steady rotation. If this Celtics team gets a good coach this summer they can grow into a contender. There has been trade talk surrounding Pierce since Ainge took over, reportedly a deal was in place this past summer to send the Truth to the Blazers for the #3 pick and Van Exel (to make the money work), only Ainge pulled out at the last second (unlike Shawn Kemp). Side/side note; Three years ago Pierce was stabbed multiple times in the face and chest by a member of absurdly gay boston rap group made men, at a sixers/Celtics game shortly after the attack I heckled Paul telling him his defense was worse than his body guards, mean, but true.
6. J.Richardson; Rich is another example of a player who is held down by an inadequacy in a single category; his ft% is a 66.9%, that’s unacceptable for a shooting guard who can hit 2.5 3pfg per and 24ppg 6rpg on 45% shooting. Side note; Can you imagine if the Warriors would have matched the 5 year 60 mil offer sheet for Arenas a few years back. First off that’s a bargain for such a talent, second it would form a top backcourt for years to come. But now the Warriors have to settle for a gimpy Baron Davis and a wise veteran in Fish to compliment Richardson’s growth into an elite shooting guard.
7. Vince Carter; I was debating whether to rank Redd or Carter in this final spot, they both have similar scoring totals, but I chose Vince because he contributes in more categories. His 24ppg 6rpg 4.2apg and impressive .7bpg make him a solid 2nd round draft pick in fantasy. Side note; I’ve honestly never been a big fan of Vince ever since he went to his graduation on the day of the game 7 against the Sixers in 2001. He missed the game winning shot that night. That series marked the high point in the development of the Raptors. Had Vince not tried to be such a golden boy that day perhaps he could have hit that shot, and thank god he didn’t since I’m a Philly fan. Still it begs the question of why he chose to attend that arbitrary event. Good for him that he completed his degree in dynamics of basketball or even worse communications, but was it necessary to potentially harm his team’s chances to make the finals? Since that shot the franchise and Vince have lost their mass appeal, and you can only blame Vince and that sad fuck Canadian dollar.
Had Vince not flown to graduation before game 7, his career could be totally different.
Honorable Mention @ SG;
• Michael Redd; he is a top shooting talent but has yet to showcase a full floor game. His 2.9 apg are significantly lower than the true top tier off guards. Still @ 25 ppg and 2 3pfg per Redd is a highly productive scorer. Ever since he had that crazy 25 point quarter three years ago I’ve liked his game. As that roster matures Redd will get more national attention. Side note; Redd fell to the 14th pick of the Second round in 2000.
• Tracy McGrady; Wow, it’s crazy that a top 5 fantasy pick like T.Mac ends up at the end of the top ten at his position. His balky back left him playing only 47 games. This is more of an injury designation than anything else, although that 40% shooting is scary. He’ll drop in fantasy drafts next year, and it’s certainly worth taking a risk on him. On a side note I once heckled Toni Kukoc saying that his defense is lazier than McGrady’s eye.
• Joe Johnson is not a pg, no matter what a stripper tells you, Joe Johnson is a shooting guard. Atlanta gave up Diaw and their 2007 1st round pick (their 06 pick is lottery protected and top 3 protected in 07) for JJ, a price too high for nearly any player. Despite Billy Knight’s complete disregard for competence Johnson’s numbers are impressive; 20ppg, 7apg and 1.6 3pfg on 46% shooting. Look for Joe to be a high 3rd round pick. Side note; Johnson was traded for Rodney Rogers in 2002 from the Celtics during his rookie year, a mistake the Celtics still lament.
• Morris Peterson/Raja Bell; these two are grouped together because their fantasy value come from their 3 pfg production; both average over 2 per and average around 15 per, they are late round/undrafted talents that will now place in the 7-8th rounds in fantasy drafts. Side note; As a sixer during the epic 2001 season Raja reportedly used to tape home made shanks under his chair, he would threaten opponents and their Achilles whenever he had the opportunity.
I like the new posts and all, but I have to say that Fantasy Football is far superior to all other fantasy sports. Basketball and baseball dont even come close, so make with more football talk. Perhaps an analysis of the NFL schedule, and what the schedule could mean for fantasy players.
Posted by
andy |
4:51 PM
Had Vince not gone to graduation, the sixers might have fired stupid-ass billy king long ago (and they would have NEVER re-signed "who wants to come to LA with me" Mutumbo.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:53 PM
Fuck Andy, Basketball isn't over yet and he never has much positive to say.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:00 PM