Football is Go(o)d
Fantasy Football (N) pronounced nerd; A goober loser habit which consumes wild amounts of time, managing an imaginary collection of large rich motherfuckers who could care less about your computer based team “The mighty BallBaggers” or whatever witty homo name you come up with.
This is a completely different kind of fantasy football
Let's be honest friends, in reality most of you are not very good at this fantasy football shit; that’s ok, we need you losers. We the actual winning teams need the numbnut tards that wallow in the basements of our leagues. Their presence allows us the winners to demean them and ridicule them as the weeks go on and the gang-rape of their team continues throughout the fall. But even when a sad loser fuck wins once in a while and it allows them to enjoy a moment in the sun; offering them the opportunity to call your friend a gaping bum asshole after killing them one week. Fantasy seems like it's fun for the losers too, although I'm not really sure how that works since me likes to win.
Most of you should sign up for this contest now(reading my shit will help though)
This sweet science is truly fucking nerdriffic, confirmed by use of the word fantasy. All of this shit is made up, but I still love it. Fantasy football is a worthy hobby; first off an effective repellent of females both attractive and slagish. If they close in or hover when your watching football or playing video games, start talking about your fantasy football team, ask them confusing shit like how will the Texans adjust to the 4-3 and what will the free agent kicking shuffle do to your pre draft rankings. Fantasy football offers low risk gambling (if you’re me), creative cursing/insults and an addiction to the best pro sports league in the world, the NFL. It's growing and only becoming more recognized by the league and the networks.
Sad but true; except usually I have 6 empty beers and a bottle of moisturizer
To be good try to stay on top of shit; stay updated on players and the scenarios, read the expert shit and all but more importantly do research for your draft, it's most often the way a championship is built. Read about how the depth charts look, check up on major injuries- you could grab Carson or McNabb in the 4th if you think they'll come back strong, or even C-Pep in the 6th. You should come out of the draft having butchered your league, get dirty cut hammys throat gulch do whatever it takes. I do a retarded amount of research not only because I like to write about it, but because I like to win. I love when a player drops; I got Fitzgerald in the 5th and Lamont in the 4th last season in one league. Dope players slip when some clownshow drafts Tom Brady in the top 30 when Bledsoe will go in the 80's. Check out my shit and maybe I can help you win a little more.
The best kind of fantasy football I've seen yet
Read my upcoming shit and let me know what you think, I'll answer any fantasy questions and what not. The season is coming soon, and the draft guides are already coming out. I’m basically making my own as well; Ranking every player for the 06 season by both position and overall (including IDP; individual defensive players), a complete 12 team mock draft as well as updates throughout the summer as mini camps are conducted. Twice a week at minimum I’ll put up fantasy updates. Rookie report coming out tomorrow; 6/20.
Fantasy Football (N) pronounced nerd; A goober loser habit which consumes wild amounts of time, managing an imaginary collection of large rich motherfuckers who could care less about your computer based team “The mighty BallBaggers” or whatever witty homo name you come up with.
This is a completely different kind of fantasy football
Let's be honest friends, in reality most of you are not very good at this fantasy football shit; that’s ok, we need you losers. We the actual winning teams need the numbnut tards that wallow in the basements of our leagues. Their presence allows us the winners to demean them and ridicule them as the weeks go on and the gang-rape of their team continues throughout the fall. But even when a sad loser fuck wins once in a while and it allows them to enjoy a moment in the sun; offering them the opportunity to call your friend a gaping bum asshole after killing them one week. Fantasy seems like it's fun for the losers too, although I'm not really sure how that works since me likes to win.
Most of you should sign up for this contest now(reading my shit will help though)
This sweet science is truly fucking nerdriffic, confirmed by use of the word fantasy. All of this shit is made up, but I still love it. Fantasy football is a worthy hobby; first off an effective repellent of females both attractive and slagish. If they close in or hover when your watching football or playing video games, start talking about your fantasy football team, ask them confusing shit like how will the Texans adjust to the 4-3 and what will the free agent kicking shuffle do to your pre draft rankings. Fantasy football offers low risk gambling (if you’re me), creative cursing/insults and an addiction to the best pro sports league in the world, the NFL. It's growing and only becoming more recognized by the league and the networks.
Sad but true; except usually I have 6 empty beers and a bottle of moisturizer
To be good try to stay on top of shit; stay updated on players and the scenarios, read the expert shit and all but more importantly do research for your draft, it's most often the way a championship is built. Read about how the depth charts look, check up on major injuries- you could grab Carson or McNabb in the 4th if you think they'll come back strong, or even C-Pep in the 6th. You should come out of the draft having butchered your league, get dirty cut hammys throat gulch do whatever it takes. I do a retarded amount of research not only because I like to write about it, but because I like to win. I love when a player drops; I got Fitzgerald in the 5th and Lamont in the 4th last season in one league. Dope players slip when some clownshow drafts Tom Brady in the top 30 when Bledsoe will go in the 80's. Check out my shit and maybe I can help you win a little more.
The best kind of fantasy football I've seen yet
Read my upcoming shit and let me know what you think, I'll answer any fantasy questions and what not. The season is coming soon, and the draft guides are already coming out. I’m basically making my own as well; Ranking every player for the 06 season by both position and overall (including IDP; individual defensive players), a complete 12 team mock draft as well as updates throughout the summer as mini camps are conducted. Twice a week at minimum I’ll put up fantasy updates. Rookie report coming out tomorrow; 6/20.
I will one day rival your Nerdish passion for this uber-dork game. Your reign as head fantasygeek is coming to an end sooner than you may know. The internets hold the key to your power, and I will harness and unleash this power upon the leagues you once dominated like Sauron. For there can only be one ruler of all Fantasy Nerds and that Rulers name... is The GART!
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:21 PM
The Gart will fall like little girl terds into the toilet right around mid-season. He will then release his tongue from tsaid wifes dirtstar to make nba draft picks in another attempt to be the worlds most consistent monkeyshit loser. Go gettem Jim!
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:32 PM
The Gart does not respond to those who are too afraid to post their actual name. However, If the Gart did respond to anonymous posts he would tell this "Anonymous" to eat cat shit and die slow. Hopefully "Anonymous" will be in one of the Garts leagues this year so that he may shit on his anonymous head sometime around mid-season, at which point he will ask anonymous if he liked it, and to please join a less competitive league next year where such ass-rapings are less likely to occur.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:21 PM
it's not even July and motherfuckers are talking shit. i love it.
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:11 PM
Just as long as no one tries to name their team "johnnyeatafatty."
Who is Johnny?
Posted by
Geez |
10:53 AM
The Gart has been to go to many lengths to get what he wants, 9 inches in fact. I love when he says he doesn't respond to anonymous postings and then responds, You sir are manbutter on a skanks back! The Gart coming in at a robust 8th grade weight of 162 lbs. and at a scorching 5'9 believes he could beat up almost any larger man as long as the fight takes place in an elevator. This is the man that will win the league this year? I just believe a winner should have a penis, not take one, right?
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:20 AM
If it weren't for the semi organized sentance structure and better than 6th grade vocab I would assume that anonymous was actually Baby Gs. However Baby G can barely comunicate with humans verbaly, much less in writing. Judging from the homo-erotic language and multiple references to cock, manbutter etc.. combined with a strange infatuation with the Garts exact measurements I'm going to assume it is non other than Jonny Mac. The older and less talented brother of our sports guru Jimmy. No matter which one, they are both strangely infatuated with the Gart and obsessed with his every move. The Gart would not want to be stuck in an elevator with either one. And for the record, the Gart will beat anyones ass in a field or farely large area due to his cat like reflexes and overall superior coordintaion and pure skill. The GArt would be at a disadvantage against a large man in an elevator due to the lack of usable manuevering space to unleash his furious blasts of combinations followed by a devestating finishing move. Lick moose taint, you flaming anonymous Gart-hater.
Andy & John: please disregard if this wasn't you..
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:59 PM
cock, balls
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:15 PM
Bejezus Gart....this is the first day in a while I have checked this site, casue I was under the impression that Jim was giving up, or taking time off blogging, at least for a while. Interesting to check a site, and find yourself being accused of making comments like these. I think you know it obviously was Johhny Mac, cause no one else comments anonymously on this site. And for Jim, whats up with that rookie report....
Posted by
andy |
3:43 PM
Sorry S Dot... I figured it was John but just in case... you know. Anyway, you on Sabbatical Jimmy? Where the christ is this rookie report?
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:54 PM