Friday, April 28, 2006 

2006 NFL Draft Logo.gif NLF Mock Draft 2006 (aka please Eagles don’t fuck it up)

Mario goes #1, and all Mock drafts are instant dog shit; I just hope Houston knows what they're doing (actually I couldn't care less if they regret it forever, thats usually funnier, imagine the future espn classic interviews with Casserly calling it his worst decision ever.)



This is one of the least predictable drafts in years. Call it a crazy bi polar hooker on meth, however you put it you have no idea what’s gonna happen this weekend. And that’s not just my amateur blog fuck opinion; GM’s and professional analysts alike are fucking confused. You see there is an incredible amount of depth at some commonly shallow positions; CB/S, I/OLB, DE, RB, TE, G, OT. There is less depth however at QB,DT and especially WR(this is the weakest crop of wideouts in a decade.) This depth forces teams to consider trading down and out of the early rounds, leaving less room for prediction. Combine this with the unusual amount of high end veteran players on the block; Donnie Edwards, Thomas Jones and Javon Walker for example, and this gets even more convoluted. I have a mock draft posted on thesportreport.com that is a more sanitized and conservative version, but this one here will be my gut picks, throwing out all convention and class.

Philly's very demanding public expects excellence
stitKelly

I will focus on the Birds and discuss the later round players that should be available and could help the cause. The Eagles sucked last season, but they are not a 6-10 team. What last season really exposed was our lack of depth at several key positions; OLB, CB, KR/PR, DT, DE and QB. It’s a given that you will suck moose cock when you lose your franchise QB and WR in the same three weeks, but to get beaten and left in a ditch on the highway like the Birds did down the stretch is inexcusable. Having Garcia atleast helps provide depth at a major position. But Reid and the gang too often look for gems and projects, vowing that the system overrides blue chip talent. It's great to develop small program and or late round picks but there is a need for studs on this roster. For proof of this simply look at our roster; outside of McNabb, the corner tandem and Westbrook there is little to no Reid era drafted blue chip talents. It’s time to admit our weaknesses and address them aggressively. The approach the front office has taken has been successful, and they have no problem telling us that, but I truly don’t see the value in being consistently competitive for the McNabb era without really going for the ring again. TO is a failed experiment for sure, but it still got the team an interception or two away from glory. So I say do it again, load up, go for it all, and that doesen't always reqiure mortgaging the future to do so.

It doesn’t mean that we are sacrificing out future if we spend some of our cap and draft for the now, not for the future. It certainly makes sense to prepare for players getting older and to add some young developing talent, but the Birds have not addressed a number of glaring weaknesses for years now; we need a true run stuffer, a beast DT who could sure up our middle and allow the well paid ends to go berserker on the QB, we have not had a solid strong side LB since Emmons and Dhani Jones needs to go back to playing his banjo for handies in the subway (with a signature series bowtie on), the lack of a between the tackles back is the most popular of these unaddressed needs, we have no clock killer back to end a game or secure a drive, the we where banking on Buck shit is old and irresponsible; his knee is about as secure as august 2001 national security. The lack of legitimate QB depth was scary, I’d honestly rather put Jeff George(circa now) in there over the hermit looking Koy or Mikey Mc from Upper Darby. I am not down on this team though, as much as I am criticizing, they are still a very talented experienced team. I hope they address these problems through the draft, potential trades and the June cap cuts. If we can solidify our DT and SAM we would be a much better defense, a potent underrated defense even. If the birds can acquire a strong back and some talent at wideout then I feel much better going in. A perfect scenario is obviously landing Walker, a reality that seems less and less possible. In any case here is the mock draft you cock jogglers(juggling while jogging);


Fuck the Hype; dude is the best non NFL talent
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1. Houston Texans; Reggie Rental, I mean Bush (USC) RB; Wow, well I'm completely wrong, apparantly you can pass on a talent like Bush; Mario Williams is the #1 pick and now the trade up frenzy can begin for Bush. I won't aler the mock draft since this is how I predicted the draft to go. Expect some crazy shit now that Bush slipped, trades are a brewin. The only thing I can say is Mario better be one great fucking end, cause Reggie is gonna prove cats wrong for the next decade or so. This actually helps the Eagles, now the boards are jumbled and players will slip due to the New Orleans situation. The Saints can't possibly pass on Bush too can they? well they just gave Duece 60 mil, more than the #1 pick garners, so I would be surprised that they would be able to accomodate that much cap out of their backfield. We will see, things just started and it's already interesting.


DBrickashaw_Ferguson


2. New Orleans; Brick Ferguson(UVA) OT; I just can’t see them taking Super Mario even though he is the best player available. With all the money they’ve invested in offense and with Brown at RT, getting a bookend LT is the wisest choice. New coach Payton is an offensive guru who knows the rarity of having two top young tackles. Mario is incredible, and in most any scenario would be a top 2 pick, but needs are needs. With Will Smith and Grant they have 1st round DE’s in place, so expect Brick at 2.(Brick means very good things for Brees/Duece, and maybe even Javon Walker?)

This was Vince's breakout game, the 2004 Rose Bowl vs. Michigan
young_vince_400_40

3. Tennessee; Vince Young(Texas) QB; The Titan’s front office believes in the potential. Leinart is the safer and more immediate choice, but like McNair they feel they can develop Young into a special player. He may very well be nervous, but his tv interviews have been third grade level, he even asked if he could touch the camera in one interview. He is an incredible athlete, but at QB you need more than that (as Vick is learning). We’ll see, he could be incredible; in 3 years. He has a lot of learning to do coming from the most college based offense possible; shotgun, option and designed runs. Chow and Fischer must secretly be hoping for a last second switch to Matt.


mario will


4. NY Jets; Super Mario (NC State) DE; They honestly would circle jerk in the war room if Mario falls to 4. I think he should, but they would be happy with Brick or even Hawk if it came to it. Mario is a superb talent, but he didn’t dominate all the time like you would expect out of a top 5 DE; he was known to disappear in some games and was handled by Brick in their meetings. Either way he is a game changer, and the Jets sorely need one with Abraham gone. The need for a QB is not as great as it is at DE and OT. The Jets fans will rain down boos if they don’t take an available Leinart, and that is very funny shit to watch. Trust me, if you watch any of the draft tomorrow, watch this pick.


dpoyhawknew

GB Packers; Hawk(OSU) OLB;
Like the Jets the Pack will take what the market gives them. They would love Mario or Brick, but will certainly take Hawk in confidence. He immediately improves their quietly improving defense. There is talk of V.Davis to help Favre out, but with Franks on a relatively new deal I doubt they look at TE. In reality there is no need to satiate a crazy fan base since the cheese farts are simply happy to have the NFL at all.


v davis

6. SF Niners; V.Davis(UMD) TE; He is a freak, and not in a baby fucker way, in the most athletic player in the draft type of way. He runs a 4.38 at 260. That won’t feel very good for a DB to take in the chest. Alex Smith needs many things, among them a strong arm and a great TE. Davis helps with the TE part, and the Niners realize that they can’t pass on him (especially with the 22nd pick for defense). (Fantasy wise Davis could be a gem)


matt

7. Oakland Raiders; Matt Leinart(USC) QB; It’s crazy that he would have been a lock at #1 last year and here he is slipping to 7, but hey college is fun and will only cost you 15 million in bonus. Al Davis loves USC cats and needs to build some interest in the Raiders this year. They have Walters from ASU but Leinart has franchise potential, so I expect that this as far as Matt falls. (no real fantasy impact, only that Brooks is still a basehead.)

T25 NORTH CAROLINA ST FLORIDA ST

8. Bills; Brodrick Bunkley(FSU) DT; Ngata is the better talent in both size and impact, but Bunkley fits the system much better. He can really attack, a two gap player who will start immediately and provide a pass rush in addition to run support. The Eagles are rumored to be interested in the Bills pick, but with the number of needs and the cost of moving that high I don’t think it is worth it, even though Ngata(pronounced nada) would change our defense. (the Bills could reemerge as a top fantasy defense under Jauron)

firemillen_small

9. Lions; Mike Huff(Texas) S; Once again Matt Millen is a horrible GM, the Billy King of football, only that football really matters. He loves Chad Jackson but knows that there is this defense thing that needs attention. Huff is a stud who can play CB or S and would start from day one. Expect Millen(check out the Morton part) to try to fuck it up as much as possible.

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10. Arizona; Ernie Sims(FSU) OLB; He is a bullet, and not like super gap toothed Adams. He is the drafts hardest hitter, a violent man. This may seem high for him but the Cards would see an immediate impact. He is rookie of the year material in the right system. If Leinart somehow slips ala Big Ben or if they are sold on Cutler QB could be the call, but I think they go defense considering the crazy LB depth this year.


cutler

11. St Louis Rams; Jay Cutler(Vandy) QB; With Linehan in place he may look to draft his own QB. Bulger is a talent but has never put a healthy/consistent year together. That could change now that he won’t throw 40 times a game, but security at QB is vital to when you have an injury prone starter. Word on the street is that Cutler’s footwork blows and you have to factor in the 9 wins ever thing even though it was Vandy (they are the fat slut of the SEC). If they do defense it should be Wimbley, the second best pass rusher.

Think big shits, very big shits from a very big man
ngata2


12. Cleveland Browns; Haloti Ngata(Oregon) DT; The Browns would love to have the big Samoan monster fall to them. It could happen if the Bills go Bunkley and if no one trades up for Ngata. It’s not often that a big athletic DT becomes available. If he’s gone they go DE; Lawson or Wimbley.


k.Williams.INT

13. Baltimore Ravens;Jimmy Williams(Vtech) CB/SS; The Ravens need a versatile Strong Safety to take pressure off of super talent FS Ed Reed, allowing him freedom to make plays. Jimmy is adept at both the pass and run and has experience at both corner and safety. The Ravens lack real depth in their secondary. It’s a possibility that Billick could address QB here with Cutler, but I doubt it. That would require humility and admit that Boller is not their future. The Ravens need a franchise QB with all of the investments made on offense; Mason and Clayton at wide out, Mike Anderson and Jamal Lewis at RB and pro bowl talent Heap at TE. Williams is too safe of a pick to pass on, expect the Ravens to address QB in the 3rd.


winston


14. Philadelphia Eagles; Winston Justice(USC) OT; It’s becoming more and more unlikely that the Eagles stay at 14. They may move up only for a DT, and would move down to have their choice of a number of positions; C(Mangold) or OT(Eric Winston) for example. Justice could fall if the Cards and Ravens pass for defense, and the Birds could use a replacement for Thomas. I doubt whatever first round pick we make is sexy; no trade up for Ngata, or trade down for a stud RB. I do feel that they could get a starter though, a player who can help them right away. The Eagles are one of the hardest teams to read when it comes to personnel, so expect a curveball.


15. Denver Broncos; Kamerion Wimbley(FSU) DE; Kam is a pure pass rusher. The Broncos have a WR need but may address that with Walker or in the later rounds. It’s not often that the second best pass rusher makes it to the middle of the round, it may happen this year. Jackson and Holmes are not enticing enough to leave such defensive talent on the board. The Broncs could be an AFC sleeper if they can add Walker and a pass rusher of Wimbley’s talents.


cromart

16. Miami Dolphins; Antonio Cromartie(FSU) CB/PR; The Dolphins need a DT, but there are none that are a value at 16. Unless they can trade down to the end of the round for a DT, they’ll need to address the loss of Madison in the secondary. Cromartie is this year’s Matt Jones; a player shooting up the charts on his freakish athletic prowess. Antonio posted a disgusting 44′’ vert, and a 4.4 40 yard dash. He missed this past college season with an ACL tear, the main factor for his mid round status, but proved his recovery with a dazzling pro workout. At 6′2′’ 210 he possesses the size and agility to become a shutdown corner, the rarest commodity in football. His immediate impact could be on special teams, where he was a standout in college. If he slips, SD will catch him at 19.

Don't be mad is he is an Eagle, this kid will be a solid pro
chad green


17. Minnesota Vikings; Chad Greenway(Iowa) OLB; Chad is a pure strong side linebacker. He would immediately help the Vikings add toughness and coverage to their LB core. You know you’re getting a smart and hard working player in Greenway, as well as improving the character of your team, something the Vikings have been doing all offseason. I would like the Eagles to take him, but if Justice is available I can’t blame them for passing. The need for a QB is great, but with no 1st rounders left they'll need to look in round 2(Coyle?).



18. Dallas Cowboys; Donte Whitner(OSU) S; The Cowboys will likely trade out of this pick unless a top safety falls; wiliams or whitner. They have worked all offseason on being mobile and open in the draft, so a move is likely. With no glaring needs the best S available is a safe call to support Roy Williams in coverage. I hate to say it but Parcells has them prepared for a run as long as Bledsoe can hold up. (The Boys could be a sleeper fantasy D/Special teams.)




19. San Diego Chargers; Daniel Bullocks(Neb) SS; Dude hits hard as any secondary player in the draft. He could immediately contribute like Mike Lewis; a player adept the blitz and solid on the run. If Jammer eventualy (somewhat likely) moves to FS in the next few years this could be a potent tandem for years to come. The Chargers could look WR but I see them addressing their pressing secondary needs. Even if Bullocks slips to the end of the round or further he'll prove to be a steal; just like M Lewis.

chad jack2


20. Kansas City Chiefs; Chad Jackson(UF) WR; He is a workout warrior who lacks polish but has great potential. He looks like a linebacker but runs like a receiver. The Chiefs sorely need an impact wide out, and Jackson is a steal this late. Kennison and Jackson form a nice tandem for the next two seasons, as Edwards needs to capitalize on his aging offense’s window. (this could help Tony G more than anyone.)



21. New England Patriots; Santonio Holmes(OSU) WR; The defense deserves attention throughout the draft (CB,DE,LB) but Holmes should be available and will provide an immediate upgrade as the #2 wideout. This offense could be dominant if it could develop a game breaker at the position. Tom already has a talented athletic TE tandem (watson’s playoff tackle was fucking silly), a solid receiver in Branch, and Corey Dillon and most likely a rookie RB. Holmes offers vertical 4.3 speed and showed big play ability in his limited chances in Columbus. It’s unlike the Pats to put this much draft stock into a skill position, but the need is glaring. With multiple 3rd and 4th round selections the Pats have mobility, so don’t be surprised if they choose to move up for a Greenway or sit and wait for Lawson to drop. (this boosts Brady’s value even higher.)

22. San Francisco 49ers; Bobby Carpenter(OSU) OLB(sam); The Niners would be ecstatic to walk away from round 1 with V.Davis and Bobby, filling two of their greatest needs in 3 hours. Carpenter is a natural strong side linebacker. He is 250 and runs a 4.6. He can cover the tight end and help in the run game. The niners blow but I like Nolan, he had these sad losers playing competitive ball.Bobby is an example of an immediate starter in the later part of the round. His father played 10 years at RB and was one of Bobby’s coaches in school. He has been greatly overshadowed by Hawk. He played strong side across AJ at OSU and has never received the national attention his game deserves. It seems the Niners are slowly picking up steam in the Nolan era. The niners blow but I like Nolan, he had these sad losers playing competitive ball last year and is infusing them with his hard nosed identity.

23. Tampa Bay Bucs; Tye Hill(Clemson) CB; He is the best natural cover corner in the draft. He is 5’9’’ but many top corners are short in this league, and his speed (4.3) is so great he can make up for it with position. The Bucs are aging in coverage and need some youth to add depth and to groom replacements (ala Philly 2002). DeMeco Ryans is an option since they need depth at OLB as well, but the lure of a top cover corner is too great. Gruden will scream at this kid for next two years and make him a pro bowler.

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24. Cinci Bengals; Manny Lawson(NC State) OLB/DE; He is an athletic freak, with speed and leaping ability that will translate well in the NFL. Much like Bobby Carpernter he was overshadowed by his line mate(Mario Williams). He is raw but Coach Lewis is a defensive master and can have this kid starting by year’s end. He shouldn’t make it this far and won’t make it past the Bengals. It this defense can get more of a rush for their talented DB’s, they should be a true contender. (the Bengals are a great value defense in fantasy to grab, especially if they can grab a player like Lawson.)

25. NY Giants; DeMeco Ryans(ALA) OLB; Even though they added defense all offseason via free agents, they still need youth and a weakside backer of the future. If Holmes is available they’ll grab him, but he shouldn’t fall this far. Much like the Cowboys they are in a good position having satisfied many needs pre draft, but they are still some time away from being a contender. Gabe Watson is also a possibility here.

26. Chicago Bears; Jonathan Joseph(South Carolina) CB; With the sudden retirement of Azumah they have a need in coverage. Joseph is raw and needs time to start having only two years of real college experience, but is a 4.3 talent with immediate special teams abilities.

Memphis - DeAngelo Williams (Joe Murphy) HB

27. Carolina Panthers; DeAngelo Williams(Memphis) RB; He really shouldn’t fall this far having had a legendary college career and gamebreaking moves, but RB isn’t a real need position for many teams this season. With the fragile Foster as their only feature level back Williams would make perfect sense. If he’s gone look for the best OLB or S Donte Whitner. This team will be around in January, and a stud RB is needed for the stretch run. (Williams or whatver back they draft is a solid late round pick in fantasy drafts for depth and potential.)

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28. Jax Jags; Laurence Maroney(Minn) RB; He is the perfect replacement for Taylor. He is a 3 down back who is adept at receiving and rushing. He needs experience in blocking but offers great late round value. Any OLB available won’t start this year, where as Maroney could start immediately for them. (whatever RB they take should have some real fantasy value as a back up)

29. NY Jets; Nick Mangold(OSU) C; There is talk that the Birds want Mangold and have him rated very high, hopefully not at 14, but a trade down could happen. Mangold should last till 29 though and the Jets could really bolster their line if they could land Brick and Mangold.

30. Indy Colts; LenDale White(USC) RB; Had White not completely fucked up and shown up 20 pounds over for USC pro day he’d be a top 15 pick. The Colts realize that in games he was a stud, and his on field performance speaks loudly. He won’t get past the Steelers ensuring him atleast the worst first round contract possible. OLB is the only other great need. (White would be a great sleeper in this offense.)

31. Seattle Seahawks; Jason Allen(Tenn) S; The Seahawks lost some potent offensive talent in Hutch and JJ, but their defense is only improving in both speed and skill. If they can land a safety prospect of Allen's caliber they should walk with that division again. Many are picking them for a super bowl hangover, I think they’ll be fine given that their division is still growing.

32. Steelers; Daniel Bullocks(NB) S; In a move out of the norm for the Steelers I see them moving up. With 10 picks and not many glaring needs they can afford to move up. If they do they’ll grab Maroney or White. If they stay I see them taking a safety to make up for the loss of Hope, a great safety. So Bullocks makes perfect sense and is a solid talent to get this late. (The RB they’ll take could make room for himself if Parker slips at all, and any defensive moves help an already elite fantasy defense.)

Thursday, April 27, 2006 

2006 NFL Draft Logo.gif

NFL Draft Analysis 2006; I'll post a mock draft and some eagles insights on friday, for the time being check out my shit on the sport report, don't worry kids, I'll still talk about anal leakage and date rape on this site, and leave the sanatized versions elsewhere.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 

nba logo 2006 NBA MVP; Fucking Canada



One of these men is a two time MVP, no really
steve_nash_dirk_nowitzki


The official announcement often comes at the end of the second week of the playoffs. But just like a Jay album it was leaked; Nash is the MVP. His stats are actually better than last year, and his team has had major injuries to contend with as well. In my opinion Dirk was robbed, he truly carried his team in a tough divison with less offensive help. Nash had a weaker division(Portland/Seattle/Sacto for most of the season) to contend with and had Marion playing his best basketball ever. Nash meshes perfectly with the system and the cast, it’s just that I don’t feel he is the clear reason for their success. Marion himself should be an MVP candidate, having actually filled most of the void created by the losses of Kurt Thomas and Amare. Don’t get me wrong, Nash is a deserving candidate, he’s just not the clear MVP that the nation has dubbed him. Both LeBron and Dirk were more responsible for their teams contention than Nash. But congratulations to that crazy little Canadian with the Oasis haircut. He is quickly turning a once solid career into a Hall of Fame campaign.

Thanks to my friend Nick for helping the world know the true D. Miles


It's redundant, but Nash gets props for layin it down(Famous NBA hoes)
elizabethhurley-730722

Monday, April 24, 2006 

2006 NBA Playoff Breakdown;


The seemingly endless 7 month marathon that is the NBA regular season has come to an end. It’s now time to start the seemingly endless marathon that is the NBA playoffs. I’m not complaining though, I love this time of year. This is a pivotal playoff season for the NBA. The league has lost speed since MJ and the lockout season. Whether it’s the increasing diversity of sports on TV to compete with or the growing disconnect between the consumer and the player, the NBA has lost fans. The league needs these playoffs to be epic, to prove its star quality and marketability. The NCAA tourney has become the most anticipated event in basketball. Yet the NBA is still the highest level of basketball, the league has simply lost focus; looking to globalize while forgetting its domestic relevance. There is hope yet for the NBA. The league has an incredible crop of young and brilliant stars to showcase now that the 2003 draft trio has truly ascended. LeBron has finally joined Melo and Wade at the party. Each player has become the face of their respective franchises, and now are becoming the key marketing focus of the league. They’re successes and failures will be the driving force of the playoffs. However, their presence is only one of many riveting subplots set to play out in the next two months;

The Future is now
LebronCarmeloWade


• The Heat and Pistons seem destined to battle for the Eastern conference title. There are no other teams in the east that can win a series against these teams. It’s basically the Piston’s berth to lose. I’m not sold at all on Riley’s offseason moves. They are not built to challenge this current Piston’s squad. They can not effectively defend both Rip and Chauncey in the same game, few in the league can affect Rasheed’s unique game, and Ben Wallace is the single most effective defender ever on Shaq. Wade will be incredible though. (Don’t believe the trendy picks to have the Heat bow out to the Nets or Bulls, the Nets are softer than dairy queen on the front court and people often forget that Shaq is still a beast whose bowel movements are larger than Krstic. Every time he flushes Dade county's water gets a little browner. Name another player in the league who needs his own toilet in all 29 arenas, they make power forward’s legs swing. The baby Bulls however are still a power forward away from being a threat.)

Shaquizal Size Dumps
ElePotty

• In the West you have the state of Texas to contend with. With the backwards way the league seeds its playoff teams the Mavs and Spurs will meet in the second round. It’s not right that the only two 60 win teams are facing off before the conference finals. It will still be an incredible series though. These teams represent the ascent of international scouting, both are 60 game winners with dynamic rosters and two amazing MVP level 7 footers in Dirk and Timmy, expect a battle.

Don't worry, we've learned our lesson
DontMessWithTexas.thumb

• The Clippers are in the playoffs. No really, and they are actually a team to fear. The perennially cheap Donald Stern has finally invested in his team and they have rewarded his newfound excess with homecourt in the first round. In an interesting application of the NBA playoff rules, the Clippers as the 6th seed will host the 3rd seeded Nuggets. This odd switch is due to the fact that the Nuggets won their division, but the Clippers have a better record. Either way it will be cool to see Melo and Brand battle for the series.

• Kobe Bryant will need to go nuts vs. Phoenix, just watch the games. Trust me, for as much of an anti hero he has become, he will fight tooth and nail this spring for some respect. I doubt he can actually carry the series, but he will make it interesting.


• Watch out for Indiana; I know they have been beset by injury and drama all year, but the Nets have no one for O’neal, it could be an interesting series. (I wrote this pre Sunday by the way)



images Eastern Conference predictions;


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(1)Pistons vs. (8)Bucks; There is no question here. The Bucks should have their parents tape the games because they won’t be in the playoffs very long. Sweep.

(2)Heat vs. (7)Bulls; Like I said, no enough low post talent in Chi town. Hinrich is a future allstar and Gordon is instant offense, but Wade and Shaq are far too much to contend with. Heat in 5.

(3)Nets vs. (6)Pacers; The Pacers already took homecourt away, and they did it with little from Peja. The Nets need more balance out of their offense. It will be hard to establish any since their frontcourt is so strugglesworth. This is the best matchup in the eastern first round. I like the Pacers in 6 (don’t sleep on Carlisle).

(4)Cavs vs. (5)Wizards; As he should be, LeBron is the talk of the league. The Wiz are simply outmatched. This series will be the James show, and the Wiz are simply extras. Arenas is the leagues least known super star, but his support is inconsistent (Jamison is bi-polar). The Cavs should win in 5.

Conference Finals; Pistons vs. Heat; Pistons win in 6. No team is so balanced and concise; they host the finals for a reason.





images2 Western Conference predictions;



International Dominance
20040405spurs


(1)Spurs vs. (8)Kings; Artest has been impressive, a model citizen and a leader on a team that desperately needed an identity. The Kings are no longer the Shaq dubbed “Queens”, though they are still wildly overmatched. Duncan can rest in this series and prepare for the looming Mavs series. Spurs in 5.

(2)Suns vs. (7)Lakers; Even though I think the Suns should win in 6 at the most, Kobe will make it very interesting. I’ll watch every game in this one, just to see if Kobe goes off. Against the high octane Suns he could easily drop 50. Only that doesn’t mean they’ll win. Suns in 5.


(3)Nuggets vs. (6)Clippers; Melo has established himself as the clutchest player in basketball. He is a proven winner on every level and he has lead Denver to the playoffs in his first three seasons. He still needs more help and a shooter to stretch the offense. His name will be mentioned in the same breath as Wade and James after this series. The Clips are a balanced veteran team, with some quality young talent. Look for Quinton Ross in this series, he is among the best on ball defenders in basketball. The combination of homecourt and Brand will prove too much for the Nuggets, although look for Melo to win a couple himself. Clips in 7.


(4)Mavs vs. (5)Grizzlies; Memphis has quietly become a stable quality franchise. Pau Gasol is a star and his supporting cast is deep and versatile. If they get a high caliber point guard they could emerge as a contender in a few years. The Mavs on the other hand are a true contender. Dirk is the MVP in my opinion, an elite star. Avery Johnson has changed the climate in Dallas in just his first full season. They are now a hungry defensive team, with a very deep bench and a superstar to carry them. Mavs in 5.


Conference finals; Spurs vs. Suns; In what should be Mavs/Spurs, the Suns simply can’t contend with Duncan and Parker. For the Suns to win a major playoff series they need to force a team to play their run and gun style. Without Amare to help offset Duncan, and with Nash not able to stop Parker’s penetration, the Spurs will win in 6.

I’ll continue to update the playoffs throughout, with breakdowns after each round. Trust me; watch the games, the league may win you back.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 

2005-6 NBA MVP;

SPMarkCuban

Crazy side note; Marc Cuban gave out American Airline vouchers to all 19K fans who attended the Mavs/Clips “fan appreciation” game last night. Now he is an incredible owner who truly knows the value of the fan, as well as the publicity such a move makes. Regardless of intention, those lucky fucks get a 60 win team and a flight to Seattle. To contrast this with my own NBA “fan appreciation” experience, I attended the Sixers/Nets game on Tuesday night, and I know I’ve already ranted about the disgusting excuse for an event that I witnessed that night, but I wanted to comment on the marketing strategy of these two very different franchises. The Sixers gave out, during the second quarter, a coupon for a Chik Fil-A sandwich and a sixers cereal bowl, valid only until halftime. What a fucking joke, this move is a good indicator of team success and direction, and since Croce we have had no class as an organization, none; “So I get a shitty plastic bowl and a chicken sandwich, both of which expire in 20 minutes and I have to go to the second floor with the poor people and wait for 12 minutes.” Give me a no look handy from a dancer, or even hip hop, let me sit on the sideline seats where Webber and AI should have been, let me play for 2 minutes since you seem to let any asshole who is 6ft+ get some run, let me tackle an usher, let me do a half time show, fuck, let me do anything except wait in line for a shitty fried chicken sandwich with Tina from Tasker and Jamaal from the five duece. All props and respect due to the Christian based powerhouse that is Chik Fil-A, they make a mean chicken yo, but for the 90 buck tickets (that my parents buy) you think I can get some fucking love y’all?


It's not obscene or crazy, but I find this really funny
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MVP talk; No dice Kobe


I love the NBA MVP award. It is the only relevant and meaningful MVP award. Baseball's joke is that they hand out two of them, which is fucking ridiculous and removes any credibility to the distinction. The NFL has separate defense and offense, plus the way it is given out lacks any appeal, much like the pro bowl, it lacks sexiness and meaning. The NBA award however is the greatest since it’s often a several player race that can be argued as the season ends. Statistics and wins certainly play a huge role in the evaluation of the award, but several intangibles exist in the evalutation process in my opinion. For example some players are given that one year in their career when seemingly everything works, their team is contending and they are performing at their peak. Iverson, Kidd or even Nash are examples of players whose MVP seasons were in essence their best years they will ever have. Some players such as Kobe, Duncan, Shaq and now LeBron are to be considered almost every season that they put up 70+ games. But there is an intangible air to a player who is doing his best ever for just that year, lightning in a bottle type shit. Another intangible to consider is the contention clause; most every MVP has been on a true contender, a team widely considered atleast a valid threat for the title, at the least they are on teams that dominated their division and competed for their conference titles. Look it up, almost every MVP has been on a solid 50+ win team that made the league consider them as a threat. These intangibles are the very reason why I love to discuss this award every year. The most important and often disregarded immeasurable factor that makes an MVP is leadership. An MVP was the leader, identity and character of the team he lead that particular season. It makes you evaluate a player’s worthiness in several categories, and it is one of the few awards that often gets it right.

These are true perennial MVPs, Kobe is not among them yet
Bird.1MJ



I've seen far too many MVP articles dissect the top candidate’s faults and merits result in Kobe as the 2006 MVP. If he does win it would mark the first time since 1981-2 that a player on a sub 50 win team would achieve the distinction. Moses Malone won it in 82 having carried a sorry pre-dream Rockets club to 46 wins literally on his back. He averaged 31 and 15, with a crazy 7 offensive boards a game. His numbers and clutch play lead to him deserving the award. For a player to win the MVP with out substantial team success requires extraordinary individual accomplishment. This very premise is how “journalists” everywhere are awarding Kobe the trophy. Even the Sports Guy, who I respect and emulate, bestowed the only meaningful league MVP in sports onto Kobe. “81” and even the 62 he dropped in 3 quarters are incredible feats, numbers few players in the world could ever put up. I just can’t rationalize giving someone an MVP award on a 7th seed team, when that player is partly responsible for both their lack of success and the lack of talent on the roster. Kobe personally accounted for at minimum 20 wins this year, the current Lakers roster is dog cock and would project as a 30 win team with out him. Only that’s true for most any playoff team; remove their single best player and expect a drastic change in the win/loss column. Take Dirk, King James, Wade, Gilbert, Melo or Gasol off of their teams and see what would happen. They may still be competitive, but no where near the threat that they are with their franchise players. I’ve seen many MVP breakdowns use Kobe’s worth to the Lakers as a testament to his greatness, I find that too broad of a measurement.

ballers_instinct

You see, Kobe is a world class ego (another way of saying asshole). A super star in the truest sense, and not in an entirely positive way, Kobe defines himself by his personal accomplishments. The man has definitely practiced his acceptance award in front of the mirror. I can not give the award to a player who I believe helped dismantle a dynasty. He wanted to prove that he could lead a team all by himself, sans Shaq and the veterans. Two summers ago he used his free agency as a vehicle to create the current Lakers; a team defined by and revolving around his talents. Rewarding Kobe for taking this Lakers squad to the playoffs is like giving the annual northwest sales plaque to a shithead Tacoma sales manager who fires his top salesman but still can keep the office running. He wanted to show the world he could work with nothing and still compete, and he has, but he can not contend. In no way is this Lakers team special or threatening. Despite his potent game, I doubt many teams fear the match up this post season, its not a regular season game against the Raptors, this is the minutia of playoff basketball, and the Lakers have far too many holes to make any run. It comes down to the leadership index; is Kobe a leader? Do his teammates learn from and respect him? They may in some ways, but I truly believe they fear and watch him, they watch in amazement and they fear getting in his way. This team is not very good, not for two years at least, not until they can amass enough cap money to sign a max free agent. Until then it will be the Kobe and the goonsquad show, second billing to a more worthy candidate just on the other side of the wall in Brand and the Clipshow. So here are the top 10 candidates for MVP, I guess its kind of obvious who won’t get the top spot;

The Finalists;

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10. Gilbert Arenas; This kid put up 29 and 6apg on 45% shooting. He carried his team on most nights while proving to be an elite streak scorer. I saw him put up19 straight for the Wiz last week. His second fiddle; Jamison, is among the leagues streakiest players himself, and often goes on several game stretches of crack play. For one the man’s name is Gilbert, and he has not only overcome the name, he has made it acceptable. He’s not a complete player yet, as his 3.5 rebounds and high turnovers suggest, but he’s well on his way to selling out Arenas everywhere. (gay but cool)

Good work Shawn; she loves you for you
marion

9. Marion; He is an elite talent, capable of taking over any game. No other player in the world can contribute in so many categories. AK is popularly considered the leagues true 5x5 threat (blocks, steals, assists, points, rebounds), but it is Marion who actually deserves that distinction. His numbers speak for themselves; 22ppg 12rpg 1.7bpg 2spg with 1.2 threes on 52% shooting. He, not Nash has carried the load for the Suns. With Amare out all season and Kurt Thomas missing the final two months Marion has defended the basket and rebounded on the interior with little help. For as revered as Nash is, he can be completely dominated by his opponent; I saw J Kidd hold him scoreless in nearly 30 minutes of burn on 3/27. Nash is a wonderful point guard who can make his whole team better, which is the hallmark of a great player, only his defense is below average for a starting point and that alone leaves him off this list. Can he guard Tony Parker or even Jason Terry when it comes down to it? I don’t believe he can. If you asked me to pick a point for one season, it would not be Nash, it would have to be Kidd. So for all those who regard Nash as the top point in the league, remember that Kidd took his paints down in March and let him know who the realest is. Marion however is the most exciting player on the most exciting team in basketball. They are like the Rams of the NBA, only without the rings. If Amare is back to full force next season they may get some for themselves. They should dismantle the Lakers, despite Kobe’s heroics; the Suns will only lose once in the series.

Pooh Bear got shot up, but he still be rollin (Stop Snitching!)
carmelo

8. Melo; He took his game to new heights this season. He became the most lethal late game scorer in the league, hitting 7 game winning/tying shots in 2006 alone. His efficiency is impressive as well, improving his fg% by 5 points to 48% on 26.5 per. He also bangs LaLa from MTV and co-owns an IRL team now. His marketing image is now recovering from the repercussions of the “stop snitching dvd” that he participated in. Expect big things from him on and off the court as he grows and Kiki begins to address the team’s holes this summer. Despite a team riddled with injury prone players and the absolute worst shooting talent in the league, Melo has lead them to a division title. Whether it’s the east coast bias or the lack of a true basketball market in Denver, Melo is still somehow underrated. He is not mentioned in the same breath as Lebron and Wade. Maybe its because his game isn’t as flashy and exciting, it’s certainly just as brilliant and effective. I fear for the Nuggets in the playoffs though, facing the vastly improved Clippers and starting on the road no less. Just don’t be surprised when you see Melo hit some game winners in the next few weeks and watch as the national press elevates him to the status he truly deserves.

Despite my assertion that she has a cavern of a cock warmer, she is still a looker
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7. Jason Kidd; He is the least celebrated elite player in basketball. Left off the all star team and left off all of the MVP lists I’ve read this season, Kidd is truly the most slept on talent in the league. He isn’t doing much different than his “MVP” level seasons. He is a constant trip double threat who elevates his teammate’s games. He is the real reason Vince is back, he is the reason the Nets won 49 games despite no frontcourt presence at all, and a thin bench. He is their leader in assists, steals, rebounds and three point shooting. A player who is the top player at his position who takes a shallow team to the 3rd seed deserves high praise. With all the failure and dissention on the Knicks, Kidd and the Nets have quietly put together another stellar season in the New York area.

6. Tim Duncan; He should be hire up on this list, but his supporting cast is so stellar and deep. Plus the 5 guys ahead of him are more deserving this season. He is an ultimate gamer, playing 80 games on basically one good leg. He never complains or deflects criticisms, he only wins. His team is stacked and poised for some more rings. Adding Finley and Van Exel to and already champion roster is impressive. Tony P and Manu are both all star caliber players. With Parker becoming an incredibly efficient scorer (third in the league in points in the paint), and Manu creating havoc on both ends, Duncan has incredible support. He’s not exciting or controversial, but he is near diabolical when it comes to winning. Not many realize how competitive and serious he is, he will be regarded as a top 5 player of all time when his career ends.

It somehow fits in there; her father shivers every time, no matter where he is
timd


I know it’s controversial and uncommon to leave Chauncey off this list. I do believe that he has had a great season. I also feel his impact on his team’s success is great, but I do not believe him to be an MVP. No more than I believe that Ben and Rasheed are, or even the unheralded Rip. All four of these players are crucial elements to their success. I don’t believe in the theory that you need to reward an individual when a team is dominant. The Pistons are a team in the greatest sense; their mantra is based on the idea that the core players are all capable of leading and contributing. Their true reward will come in June, when they will be battling for the only trophy that matters.


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5. Wade; For a large part of the season I considered Wade among the real MVP nominees. He is a high scoring, high flying assassin who brings it every night. His 28 and 7apg on 50 % shooting is incredible. This new trio of stars (melo/lj/dwyane) are truly well rounded players, all shooting around the 50% mark. The resurgence of Shaq’s game and the Heat’s inability to dominate teams in a weak conference lead me to lower my ranking of Wade this year. He is a remarkable talent that will contend for this award for years to come. It will be interesting to see the transition that takes place as it becomes clear that the Heat are Wade’s team, not Shaqs.

The best action hero in LA
nba2_ebrand

4. Brand; Elton has had a true career year. Finally the Clips are relevant and inspired. For so long Brand has been an undervalued commodity; a dominant defensive big man with an elite post skill set. Name a better true power forward, and I mean that in the most elemental old school sense. Not a hybrid forward like KG or Dirk, or a center/forward like Duncan, but a true back to the basket mean motherfucker. A star power forward should rebound score and defend, be your nastiest and most consistent force, a player in the mold of Karl Malone. Brand is now a 25 and 10 man, with an elite 2.5 blocks. The Clippers are a team no one wants to match up with in the playoffs, and Brand is the main reason for that fear.


The Holy Los Angeles trinity; teeth bleaching, infidelity and a whore dress
Kobe_Vanessa381

3. Kobe; This is where he truly belongs; third. Deal with that shit Kobe. He is not an MVP in any sense of the word. Break that shit down; most valuable, it requires that your team is successful and that you are the major force in that success. 45 wins with that roster is impressive, but I do not believe that he is the main reason for that success. Switch Kobe out with say Wade or even Ray Allen, I still see them at 500 or better. The reason for that in my mind is Phil Jackson. For as prolific as Kobe has been this season, and he has been nuts; 35per is a rare feat (even with the fucked up hand check rules), Phil is a world class coach who can get production out of unlikely sources. PJ made Smush Parker a lot of money this season, forced Odom to be consistant and helped redeem the wasteful career of Kwame. An MVP makes his team better, he is not only measured on his incredible individual feats, rather he is rewarded for his team’s success as well. There is a reason that no player has won the award in 24 years on a team with sub 50, it’s because team success is an integral part of the award. Kobe is just as responsible for their losses as he is their wins, he helped create that roster whether he admits it or not. That team is years from being important. He may very well win this award, which would be fitting; Kobe can sit with it on his coach, cuddling it alone, watching the second round from his wildly expensive couch and television.

A true Classic
lebron2

2. LeBron; I honestly considered him at 1 since his complete floor game is so rare and becoming legendary. He is greatness, legend. So young, but so damn smart and savvy. His numbers jump off the screen; he is a living triple double, and not a 13 point trip double ala Kidd or a 19 pointer like the 90's Payton, he is a 33 point trip double. People discuss him among the likes of Oscar and Magic, because the list is truly that short. He is the rare case of reality exceeding hype. I’ve read many articles about him and his unfolding greatness. One very good piece discussed his strength and power. Bill Simmons described a play he saw that exhibited the freakish power of King James. I also witnessed a similar play that illustrates his unique power, at the Cavs Sixers game in November he not only put up a trip double (with 36 points no less), but did one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen; In the second quarter I believe, he got the ball on the wing almost out of bounds, Iggy was attempting to look assertive and LeBron gave a quick head fake and began to drive to his left, he shed Andre quickly and without regard, making Iggy look weak and inferior, then he picked up his dribble right outside the paint and went to the air for a lay in, as he leapt Webber and Stephen Hunter attempted to foul him, knowing he was going to score if left alone. Webber did that really lazy bullshit foul he does where he throws both arms on the player while never actually leaving his feat himself, either way Webber is strong and his foul was meant to keep Bron on the ground, as he jumped however he began to shed Webber’s arms, while Hunter grabbed his shoulder to bring him down. With his right arm Lebron lifted the ball and gently layed it in. I mean, he made it look easy, and these two pot head losers were hacking the shit out him, it was a clear and forceful attempt at preventing a lay up, but LeBron didn’t even flinch. In full stride he broke their hold and drove through them, it wasn’t something that LeBron seemed to mind, his strength and speed allow him to do these things. It’s moments like that one that make you realize how great he is. Add this to the fact that his team is dog shit; big Z is a detriment to his game, slowing down the pace that LJ accels at, the bench is weak and the offseason signings have not made the predicted impact (Hughes gets a pass, but Damon and Marshall are simply overpaid). All this considered he won 50 and carried the load every single night, and didn't even have his second talent available to him (could Kobe have done this without Odom for 60 games?). He is barely 21 and is set to dominate for the next 12-14 years. The only thing holding him back is his team and time; with time he will elevate everyone around him, and his team will furiously try to accommodate his growth, fearing the loss of his talents. He was very close on this one, but he’ll have many to come.



dirkshaggy

1. Dirk Diggler; He has all the criteria met; Winner=60 games, Stats=26.6ppg, 9rpg 48% from the field and 40% from three, Leadership and Value to his team= He is by far the best player on his team. He is always the player they look to in the clutch, and his game allows his teammates to stay involved in every game. He is also fun to watch, has an array of rainbow jumpers, running dunks and back to the basket fade away bank shots that only a handful of players can pull off. He is the best big man shooter in the game, possibly ever. Name a 7 footer who has a game like his; name any player who is tall, blonde, german and named Dirk. He is a cartoon character, a rare talent from a small German town that without the Mavs dope international scouting team would be the tallest pastry chef in the world. I could go on about Dirk for hours. He is more than anything else a winner. He is a player who was traded for Tractor Traylor in the draft (that Bucks GM deserves to be brutally beaten by the way, and the Sixers took Hughes one pick before him, also leaving Paul Pierce on the board). The hallmark of the international players’ ascent in the NBA, Dirk is the 2006 MVP. He is elite, and you have to think that this is the best this Mavs team will be, and that’s not a slight or a sad point, it’s just my opinion, that Dirk is at his peak; a time where his game and his team are truly elite.

Dirk ultimately won
simonanddirk